


Meant to Be

by Sammeup



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, I didn't know I could just import my aff works here, I'm like so shook I tried to manually edit my chapters here and it was hell, also other people from kpop groups are here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammeup/pseuds/Sammeup
Summary: Everybody knew that fate was unavoidable and complying to it was always for the best. But Seulgi didn't want to follow the path that destiny set out for her. Not if it didn't involve her, the one Seulgi loved.





	Meant to Be

 

 

What led Seulgi to become an artist was the ink etched onto her father’s skin. When Seulgi had trouble going to sleep at night, her father would lay beside her until her eyes drifted shut. She insisted that the monster beneath her bed was going to steal her orange blanket if she let her guard down. Seulgi always traced her fingers on her father’s wrist while he read one of the many storybooks prepared on the nightstand. At the age of six, Seulgi voiced her curiosity towards the imprint.

“How did you get this, daddy?” Seulgi gripped her father’s wrist, her hand not big enough to wrap around it entirely. She didn’t listen to the gallant tale about star crossed lovers because it was a story she was told of too many times.

“Hmm?” Peering down at Seulgi, her father set the book aside and began to brush Seulgi’s hair with his free hand. “You mean my tattoo, princess?”

Seulgi nodded. “All the adults like you, mommy, and Mrs.Park have these pretty drawings on their wrist, but nobody in my class has one. It's unfair.” She ended her sentence with a pout and her father chuckled.

“Of course you don’t have one,” he said. “You’re much too young.”

“Will I have one in the future?” Seulgi asked.

“You will, I’m sure of it.” He paused and Seulgi thought her father sounded just a tad bit scary when he muttered, “Hopefully not too soon though.”

Because Seulgi was unsatisfied with his answer and forgot the page her father stopped on, she decided to pry some more. “When did you get yours?”

Her father hummed, tilting his head as he rubbed the stubble on his chin. “I don’t remember the exact date, but I know it was when I had recently turned twenty-three. Oh!” His face brightened as a memory popped in his mind. “It was also during the fall on… a Tuesday.”

“Did it hurt?” Seulgi outlined the intricate dark lines that ran from his wrist all the way down to his bicep. “It must have, it’s so big.”

“It didn’t,” he insisted. “In fact, finally getting marked was the best day of my life.”

“Best day of your life?” Seulgi’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought that was marrying mommy.”

“That’s the _second_ greatest day of my life. And—” He reached down to tickle Seulgi and she laughed, pushing at his broad shoulders. “You being born is the third greatest day of my life.”

When her giggle weakened and she was able to talk normally, Seulgi smiled at him curiously. “Why is the tattoo so important?”

“Well,” he sighed and turned his head to stare up at the ceiling. “It was when I knew I was finally going to find ‘the one.’”

Seulgi blinked at that. “What do you mean?”

“This,” he lifted his right arm and pointed at the mark on his skin. “This is what told me that I was going to be with your mother in the first place.”

“It told you?” Seulgi sat up and latched onto her father’s arm again. “But art doesn’t talk, daddy.”

Her father stared at her for a couple of moments before laughing, his eyes crinkled up due to his wide smile. Seulgi chuckled with him, but didn’t understand what was so funny. “You’re right, princess, they don’t talk,” he said. “Maybe I should phrase it in a different way.”

Sitting up and crossing his legs, her father began to explain the importance of tattoos as if it were a story while Seulgi sat on his lap. “When you grow up, you’re going to get this mark like all the other grown-ups. This determines the one you’ll love for the rest of your life,” he said. “Each mark is unique for each pair.” He ran his hand over the dark green lines inscribed into his wrist that twisted into a blooming flower. “Have you seen anyone besides me and your mother with a design exactly like this?”

“Nuh uh.” Seulgi shook her head.

“Exactly. That’s what makes me and your mother soulmates.”

Seulgi looked down at her own bare wrists. “But what if I don’t have a soulmate?”

“Not have a,” he sputtered dramatically and scoffed. “Not have a soulmate? You? That’s impossible!”

“It is?” Seulgi asked.

“Well,” he hesitated. “Actually, there have been some cases—”

Seulgi’s face fell and she hung her head low. “Oh.”

“But that almost never happens!” he urged, waving his heads frantically. “I know you’re going to have tattoo like me and your mother, a father just knows these things.”

“Really?”

“Really really,” her father emphasized while crossing his arms.

Seulgi seemed to brighten at that, raising both her arms in the air. “Yay!”

Her father glanced at the bear clock he and her mother bought her for her birthday, the animal’s paws moving back and forth like a pendulum. “Very exciting I know, but it’s time to sleep now. We can’t have your mother fussing over you having bags under your eyes tomorrow, can we?”

Not wanting to make her mother worry, Seulgi buried herself under the covers as her father stood up and made his way to her bedroom door. However, even when Seulgi felt her eyes grow heavy, she wanted one more question to be answered. “What if I don’t like my soulmate?” she asked as her father reached to flick off the lights.

He shook his head. “That would never happen,” he said. “If destiny set you to be together with that person, that means you’re perfect for each other.”

“Wow,” Seulgi said to herself in awe. “If I get my tattoo, it can probably do anything like tell me the answers for my math test.”

Her father chuckled. “Get some rest, princess.”

As her father shut off the lights and softly closed the door behind him, Seulgi closed her eyes and wondered what fate had in store for her.

____________________________________________________________________________________

If Seulgi was confronted about how easy it was for her to trust someone, she wouldn’t be able to deny the accusation. However, she would say that she wasn’t as bad as she was as a child.

Her father thought that there was nothing wrong with being innocent and it was actually a breath of fresh air compared to how everyone else was. On the other hand, her mother saw Seulgi’s denseness as concerning because that meant it was easier for her to be taken advantage of. And when she learned what could have happened to Seulgi at the age of eight, she yelled “I told you so” to Seulgi’s father.

Seulgi only wanted to make a new friend. Due to her parents’ work, the Kang family had no choice but to move. From then on, Seulgi became the kid that spent her time alone in the swing sets while the other kids pretended to be zookeepers. She wanted to be a zookeeper too, but she had to settle for kicking her legs as she attempted to fly high in the sky. Her feet met sand instead and she wished her father would hurry back from work and take her home already.

“Hey, you.”

Seulgi dug her sneakers in the earth to stop swinging and her eyes met a man that she was sure wasn’t her father unless he grew his hair to shoulder-length in less than a day. “Hi,” she said.

He grinned and Seulgi stared down at the sand, feeling awkward towards the stranger. “Let me guess, you’re waiting for someone to pick you up?”

“I…” Seulgi didn’t want to say anything, but remembered her mother said it was rude to not respond to someone. “My daddy.”

The man let out a soft ‘aah’ and knelt down so he was around the same height as Seulgi. “I knew it,” he said. “You’re the reason why I was sent here.”

“What do you mean?” Seulgi asked.

“You see,” he placed his hand on his chest. “You’re dad and I are coworkers and he couldn’t make it because he has to stay at work for overtime.”

“Oh no,” Seulgi frowned.

“I know it’s upsetting, but that’s why I’m here.” He stuck out his hand towards Seulgi and she flinched. “He sent me here, so I could take you back home myself.”

“I want to stay here until he comes here himself,” she muttered.

The man’s lips pressed into a thin line, but quickly switched back to his original smile and shook his head. “He can’t do that, sweetie. Our work is forcing him to stay there all night and he doesn’t want you to freeze in the cold. You don’t want him to worry, do you?”

Seulgi’s eyebrows furrowed. She knew her father wouldn’t want her to get sick and the man seemed to know that as well, but she couldn’t help but feel uneasy. “I don’t.”

“Good.” He straightened his legs and towered over Seulgi, still leaving his hand outstretched. “Now, if we hurry, I can buy you some ice cream.”

That sounded nice. Seulgi darted her eyes between the man’s hand and her own. “Okay, if you—” As Seulgi slowly extended her hand forward towards him, she felt her wrist yanked and the next thing she knew she was running away from the sandbox. She would have screamed for help if it weren’t for the fact that it was a slightly taller girl that took her hand, who was already yelling “stranger danger, someone help!”

“!” Seulgi turned to see the man wildly look around before dashing in the opposite direction of where the girls were heading, not wanting to be seen.

The two girls didn’t stop running until they were near the seesaw and in the field of vision of the mothers that stayed by the stone benches. Seulgi was able to make out the girl’s dark eyes when she turned to look at her. The girl wore a brim hat, similar to the ones that fishermen wore, with white and dark blue floral designs. Long black hair trailed from beneath it, Seulgi noting how pretty it looked as it flowed slightly with the wind.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Seulgi brought her eyes down to where the other girl still held her wrist, not strong enough to hurt Seulgi but enough to not lose her. She nodded, shy because she was finally talking to another kid. “Yes.”

“That’s good,” the girl with the fisherman hat smiled. However, her expression changed as she frowned and let go of Seulgi’s hand, setting both of her hands on her hips. “Why were you planning to go with him? That’s dangerous!”

“He said that my daddy was letting him take me home,” Seulgi said.

“Well, next time don’t even think about going with a shady guy like that!” the girl chided. “He was probably never going to make you see your parents again.”

Seulgi winced. “Never see my—” She felt the tears forming in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to see them again?”

The girl nodded. “Guys like that take advantage of kids like us.”

Tears began to run down Seulgi’s cheeks and she sniffled. The girl widened her eyes at this and let out a “ _nooo_ ” as she cupped Seulgi’s face and tried to wipe them away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“B-but mommy a-and daddy—”

“The bad guy is gone now, though! You’ll still be able to see your parents, okay?”

Seulgi looked at the girl, who was trying to do her best to calm her down by offering a hesitant smile. “Okay.”

The girl’s smile grew more genuine. “You should stay with me and my mom until one of your parents come,so you can stay safe.”

When Seulgi’s father arrived an hour later and was told what had happened by the girl’s mother, he went on his knees and went on a tangent that ranged from begging her precious daughter for forgiveness to promising that he’ll make sure the creep paid if he ever saw him.

However, Seulgi was no longer shaken up by what happened and had hugged her father, ice cream in hand. The girl with the cap insisted that she pay for the desserts with her own allowance despite her mother more than willing to pay herself. Seulgi laughed in delight and said, “Thank you, Fisherman Cap Girl!” The girl looked at her strangely and her mother looked at Seulgi with a hand over , as if she was trying not to laugh.

“My name is Bae Joohyun,” the girl corrected.

So when Seulgi’s father asked Seulgi how he should make it up to her, she said that she wanted to invite Joohyun over to their house. After all, she wanted to know more about her first friend.

____________________________________________________________________________________

When Joohyun told Seulgi that she was actually three years older than her, Seulgi stared at her in amazement. “You’re already in the double digits,” she whispered. “That’s amazing.”

Despite having different classes, Seulgi was the closest to Joohyun in school. The latter walked with Seulgi on the way to school and back home everyday, side by side but their hands separate from each other. Joohyun realized that Seulgi was nervous when it came to touching and made sure to not make Seulgi uncomfortable. It was a small gesture and Seulgi was grateful for it.

Eventually, Joohyun graduated from primary school and Seulgi sulked for two days, claiming she had nobody to hang out with school anymore. She immediately brightened when Joohyun promised to help her study, so they could be in the same middle school.

Joohyun was patient with her two years later whenever Seulgi struggled with a math problem or reading comprehension. One day after a not so successful session, Seulgi sighed and plopped her chin atop of her textbook. “I’m sorry I’m so slow,” she grumbled. “Maybe we should give up.”

“Don’t say that,” Joohyun said casually. Her back was turned away from Seulgi as she rummaged the contents of Seulgi’s bookcase. “I want my bestfriend to be in the same school as me again.”

Seulgi blushed and immediately straightened her posture, getting right back to work. Knowing that Joohyun missed her at least a little bit made Seulgi motivated to ace her tests.

When Seulgi graduated and was enrolled in the same school as Joohyun, she actually jumped into the latter’s arms for a hug. As Joohyun tightened her hold on Seulgi’s waist, Seulgi thought about how their friendship was destined to be one that lasted forever.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Birthdays passed by faster and the duo became more closer. The day went by in a pattern: when it was Joohyun’s birthday, Seulgi visited her house and when it was Seulgi’s birthday, Joohyun came to hers.

Seulgi knocked on the door every year and Joohyun was always welcomed by the sight of Seulgi balancing her gifts of purple journals and a lopsided cake that was about to fall to the ground. One year it did crash into the front porch and instead of glowering, Joohyun took a picture of a chocolate-covered Seulgi and the destroyed confection to commemorate the moment.

Joohyun never failed to bring Seulgi stickers—it was Pokemon themed when Seulgi turned nine—and her favorite brand of pens.

Her parents knew Joohyun well enough to know that she would spend the night in their household as well, the air bed already inflated by the time the duo entered Seulgi’s room. They were more than happy to, for they saw Joohyun as practically one of their own. However, they weren’t aware of how Seulgi and Joohyun fought over who would sleep in the air mattress when Seulgi was ten. Seulgi insisted that she should because Joohyun was the guest and Joohyun argued that Seulgi couldn’t because it was her birthday and that she wouldn’t mind sitting in the inflatable bed. They ended up making a compromise where they both slept in Seulgi’s bed.

Sharing the same bed became a normal occurrence after that. Seulgi never found it strange because Joohyun was her best friend and knew that best friends shared everything. However, she didn’t know what to think of the burning in her chest when she stared at a sleeping Joohyun for a moment too long.

____________________________________________________________________________________

“You are so unfair.” Joohyun sneered at a fifteen year old Seulgi, who reached up to grab the file from the top shelf.

Seulgi only chuckled as she passed the record book to her, adding onto the pile. “Says the one who’s using her childhood friend as a lackey.”

Joohyun huffed. “That’s what you get for deciding to be taller than me.” She slid the document under her arms and opened the door of the teacher’s lounge. “Let's hurry and take this to the Student Council Room, so we can go home before it gets dark.”

“You sure like to treat everything like a competition,” Seulgi said. She remembered that ever since her father commented on how she was now taller than Joohyun, the latter tended to be cranky whenever she was reminded of their heights. “And I didn't just decide to be taller, fate did.”

Joohyun smirked and playfully pushed Seulgi’s shoulder. “Well, fate is cruel for making a child like you become taller than me,” she retaliated.

Seulgi glanced at her, amused, and began to roll up the sleeves of her uniform. “Give me half of your stack,” she said. “It looks like your arms are about to give out.”

Joohyun obliged and the duo walked in a comfortable silence. Seulgi peered out the window and was about to say that the sunset looked beautiful when a teenaged boy bumped into her and caused her to drop all the documents.

“Oh crap!” the guy said, who Seulgi recognized now as Jimin from her literature class. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Seulgi sighed and gathered the files that scattered on the floor while Jimin helped. “Thanks,” she said.

“Why are you running in the halls?” Joohyun asked, an air of disapproval permeating from her.

“S-sorry, President,” Jimin stuttered. “But I was excited! Didn't you hear the news?”

“What news?” Seulgi tilted her head on one side.

Jimin smirked and touched his bare arm, raising an eyebrow. Seulgi gasped. “Someone got marked? But we’re only in high school.”

“I know, right?” Jimin laughed. “It's unbelievable, you gotta check it out!” And with that, Jimin ran down the hall while ignoring Joohyun’s reprimanding.

Seulgi turned her head to look at Joohyun with pleading eyes. “Can we see the couple?” she asked. “Pretty please?”

Joohyun stared at Seulgi for a couple of moments before she sighed. “Fine,” she muttered. “We won't stay for too long though.”

Seulgi grinned, her eyes becoming smaller as her smile widened and Joohyun offered a soft one in return.

It wasn't hard for Seulgi and Joohyun to find the new couple at all because a crowd had already formed around them. Whenever two people were chosen to be together, a commotion was bound to happen.

“Let me see, Byul-unnie!” Seulgi turned over her friend’s hand, who was actually acting shy around everyone. She and the other onlookers let out a loud ‘ooh’ as they took in the sight of the sun graved into her skin.

Yongsun, Byulyi’s other half, had a tattoo of the moon to match her.

“Congratulations, you two!” Seulgi said excitedly. “I had a hunch you two were made for each other.”

A blush overtook Byulyi’s features and she rubbed the back of her neck. Yongsun thanked her with a smile.

“What's this?” A friend of Yongsun and Byulyi’s—Seulgi believed her name was Hyejin—smirked and crossed her arms. “Why are you acting so shy now, unnie? If my memory is right, weren't you flirting with Yongsun-unnie a few days ago?”

Byulyi sputtered out a response and the crowd, including Seulgi, laughed. Seulgi observed the couple, taking in their content smiles, once more before turning to Joohyun. _Those two are so lucky_ , Seulgi thought. “Joohyun-unnie, we should—” Seulgi stopped when she saw Joohyun not focusing on the couple, instead her eyes staring at Seulgi’s bare arms. “Unnie?”

Joohyun jolted up and looked up at Seulgi, appearing dazed. “Huh?”

“We should head to the council room now,” Seulgi suggested. “You wanted us to head home before it gets dark, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah, I did say that.” Without another word, Joohyun went around the crowd and Seulgi trailed behind her.

Because Joohyun was quiet for the rest of their errands, Seulgi had time to think back to the couple and stared down at her own wrists. She wondered when she would be ready to fall in love with someone. As she looked up briefly at Joohyun’s back, which was illuminated by the calm orange and yellow rays that shined on her, Seulgi hoped that whoever fate decided would be with Seulgi, that fate would play in her favor.

______________________________________________________________________________

Joohyun asked Seulgi a question while she was visiting the latter’s house. They were both studying, Joohyun with her college finals and Seulgi with her entrance exams.

“Seulgi.” The aforementioned girl looked up from her scratch paper to face Joohyun, who was busy typing numbers into her calculator. “Can I ask you something?”

“If it's about your math homework, you must be desperate to ask me,” Seulgi said.

Joohyun smiled and rolled her eyes. “It's not about school. It's personal.”

Seulgi blinked, setting down her pencil that had been worn down by the long and arduous weeks of usage. “Sure, go ahead.”

Removing her round glasses, Joohyun closed her eyes as she rubbed her face. Her eyes fluttered open and Seulgi was taken back for a second. “Have you thought about your future?”

“My future?” Seulgi repeated. She hummed, leaning back against her bed frame. “Well, I know I want to major in art, if that's what you mean.”

“No,” Joohyun said. “No, it's not actually.”

“What do you mean then?” When it came to future plans, the only things that came to Seulgi’s mind were her occupation and… wait a minute.

“Have you ever wondered what your soulmate would be like?”

The pencil Seulgi let go of rolled off the table with a soft thump. “M-my soulmate?” Seulgi knew her face was beginning to burn in embarrassment. That was a personal question.

Joohyun nodded. “Do you want them to act in a certain way or have the same interests as you?”

“I haven't really thought about it,” Seulgi admitted.

“You haven't,” Joohyun said, looking half-convinced.

“Uhuh…” Seulgi paused. “But as long as they love me like I love them, then that's all that matters.”

Offering a smile, Joohyun rested her head atop of her palm. “That's all? That's not asking for a lot.”

Seulgi fiddled with her fingers. “It,” she started. “It would also be nice if they didn't get mad at me when I constantly make a mess.”

Joohyun laughed, covering with her other hand. “That's a good requirement. They won't be able to survive you if they can't handle it.”

Seulgi smiled and tilted her head. “What about you?”

“I haven't thought about it either,” Joohyun said. “I haven't even thought about what my tattoo would look like.”

“I have an idea,” Seulgi blurted out and immediately froze.

Joohyun blinked. “You do?”

“I… yeah. I can—” She gestured towards Joohyun’s right arm. “I can show you if you let me.”

Looking down at her wrist, Joohyun stretched her hand towards Seulgi. “Go ahead.”

Seulgi looked between Joohyun’s expectant smile and her exposed arm before she took out a pen. She began to draw on Joohyun’s arm in purple ink, deciding against using the yellow despite it being Seulgi’s favorite color to draw with. Joohyun giggled because the nib was ticklish against her skin, but soon they fell into  a comfortable silence. Seulgi hoped that today wasn't an art slump for her.

When she finished, Seulgi realized she was holding Joohyun’s hand for too long and let go. “There you go,” she said. “That's how I pictured your mark would look like, since you're such a great singer and all.”

The purple ink Seulgi used formed a music note with the lines of a stanza trailing behind it in waves. “It’s beautiful,” Joohyun breathed. “Is it alright if I take a picture of it?”

Seulgi shrugged, ignoring the tightening of her chest. “If you want to.”

As Joohyun lowered her hand to take a picture with her phone, exposing her wide and genuine smile, Seulgi began to wonder when her first friend became her first love.

______________________________________________________________________________

Seulgi graduated and moved out of her parents’ home in the same year. Not only did she want to become more independent, but Seulgi also thought it was beneficial to move closer to her university. That didn’t stop Seulgi’s father from mourning as if she were dead, muttering “they grow up so fast.” Seulgi’s brother noted how their father never acted like that when he left for college. Seulgi’s mother was wary at first, but concluded her daughter would turn up alright when she learned that Seulgi would be rooming with Joohyun.

Living with Joohyun was different from having a sleepover with Joohyun. To prevent Joohyun from having an aneurysm, Seulgi learned very fast to keep her mess to a minimum. It wasn’t all bad though. Like Seulgi, Joohyun made exceptions for Seulgi such as letting them both have a movie marathon when they were supposed to study for their tests or buying Seulgi art supplies while she was too busy to get them herself.

It was a new experience, but the happiness that lingered in Seulgi’s chest whenever she saw Joohyun remained the same. She hoped that this sense of bliss was meant to last.

______________________________________________________________________________

Her phone began to buzz as it blared out the chorus of a popular song, causing Seulgi to peel her eyes open with a groan. “Five more minutes,” she forced out. However, her phone wasn’t her mother, who would be able to listen without the help of buttons, so Seulgi sat up. Frowning, she turned off her alarm and sat in silence, in the state of wanting to go to sleep but knowing she couldn't because of the stuff she planned for the day.

She yawned and raised her arms in the air to stretch, sighing when she felt a few cracks. She smiled lazily and looked at the long sleeves of her shirt. “I should get a new shirt soon,” she said to herself as she inspected the holes on the fabric.

“Whatever,” she muttered as she let her finger tug at the tear. She stood up from bed and scuffled to the bathroom, preparing to take on the day.

Turning on the faucet, Seulgi bunched up her sleeves higher so it wouldn't soak in the sink as she washed her face. The cold water heightened her senses and when she was done, she fumbled for her towel and dried her face. She stared at herself through the mirror to check her appearance. There weren't any bags under her eyes, her bed head was fixable, her arms were fine excluding the mark that decorated her right wrist, her teeth were—

The towel slipped from Seulgi’s fingertips and her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh my god.” She grabbed her right arm and began to rub at the mark. It didn't fade away. It was real.

Fate decided that Seulgi was ready to love someone. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Oh my god, I—” she tugged her sleeves back down to cover herself. “Joohyun-unnie!” she called out. “Guess what?”

She scurried out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, greeted by a back turned to Seulgi. “Why are you so energetic?” Joohyun teased. She swiveled her head to face Seulgi and smiled.

Seulgi grinned back and opened to say something, but stilled as she looked over the other girl. Joohyun wore an oversized T-shirt that covered everything but her arms. She held a spatula and frying pan. Her arms, her wrist, her hands were blank. She wasn't marked.

“Seulgi?” Joohyun frowned. “Are you okay?”

It wasn't her. Fate thought that Seulgi was ready to love someone, but didn't choose the one she was already in love with. What Seulgi had with Joohyun wasn't meant to last.

______________________________________________________________________________

Long sleeves became Seulgi’s favorite article clothing according to her friends, in and out of school. She never told Joohyun what happened.

“Seulgi? Kang Seulgi?”

She was brought back to her senses when her classmate elbowed her, making her remember that she was in a lecture. “Here!” she called out.

Her professor, Mrs. Kim, only looked up briefly before marking her present in the roster. She continued going through the list and Seulgi slumped in her seat.

Seulgi needed to stop spacing out. If she didn’t, people were eventually going to grow suspicious. She played with the fabric of her shirt, over the spot that was hidden as soon as it was discovered. _It’s not Joohyun-unnie_ , Seulgi thought to herself. _Why?_

“Okay, class,” Mrs. Kim piped up and Seulgi fixed her posture. “Before we begin, I need to introduce you all to our new student.” She casually turned her head towards one of the lecture hall’s doors. “You can come in now.”

The door slid open and a girl walked in without a word, refusing to stare at the body of students until she was right next to the teacher. She seemed friendly enough, her smile warm as she bowed to the class. “My name is Son Seungwan,” she said. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

Mrs. Kim nodded towards her in acknowledgement before addressing her class. “I know we don’t usually do such formal introductions with new students,” she explained. “But Seungwan is a special case, for she actually lived in Canada until recently. I need a volunteer that will give her a campus tour. Any takers?”

Seulgi raised her eyebrows at that. She knew the loneliness that came with moving, but at least Seulgi stayed in the same country. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Seungwan felt when she moved continents. Seulgi raised her hand, her other hand making sure her sleeve didn’t slip down.

“Ah, Seulgi,” Mrs. Kim gave a satisfied smile and Seungwan turned to meet Seulgi’s eyes. “You’re in good hands, Ms. Son. Though she may seem dense at times, she is a considerate and genuine person.”

Sounds of snickering resounded inside the room and Seulgi groaned, burying her head in her hands. Mrs. Kim _really_ didn’t have to mention that last part. However, Seungwan didn’t seem to mind as she only smiled shyly and ascended the staircase to take a seat next to Seulgi.

“Hey there,” Seungwan whispered because Mrs. Kim wasted no time in starting her lecture as soon as her protocol was fulfilled.

Seulgi peeked out of her hands. “Hi,” she said as she adjusted her posture, feeling self-conscious.

Seungwan looked at her for a second longer, tucking a hair behind her ear, before she directed her attention to the blackboard. Seulgi blinked, glancing down. Her arms were covered, nothing was revealed. But why did Seulgi still feel exposed?

Class ended and Seulgi realized she ignored the entire lesson in favor of stealing glances at the new girl and wondering why her stomach churned despite not eating too much for breakfast. She didn’t know why Seungwan made her feel uneasy despite knowing almost nothing about her, but Seulgi had a hunch that the girl’s favorite color was blue judging by her school supplies. It reminded her of what she was trying to forget and Seulgi frowned.

“Excuse me?” Seungwan poked Seulgi’s shoulder and the latter snapped out of it, glancing up at the girl.

“Oh, sorry about that.” Seulgi packed all of her supplies inside her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “Are you ready for your ultra amazing and super spectacular tour around the school?”

Seungwan chuckled. “Ready as I'll ever be,” she said.

The tour didn't end up being ultra or amazing or even super spectacular. It wasn't like Seungwan was mean—Seulgi was shocked at how nice Seungwan was—and Seulgi knew what directions to give when the former asked where a certain class was located. However, the periods of silence were long and noticeable.

“Sooo,” Seulgi drawled and Seungwan swiveled her head to look at her. “Do you need help with anything else? Do you want to know some trivia about the school? Because I don't know any, but I have plenty of data on my phone to search for some online.”

Seungwan smiled. “No, that won't be necessary.” She stopped in her tracks and Seulgi halted with her. “But can I ask you… no, nevermind. It's stupid.”

“Well, you can't just leave me hanging like that,” Seulgi insisted. “Now you have to tell me what's wrong.”

“No, it's really out of topic,” Seungwan said. “And I'm sure it'll weird you out if I tell you.”

“You're afraid to weird me out?” Seulgi asked.

A blush covered her face and Seungwan darted her eyes away. “Yeah,” she said.

Blinking a few times, Seulgi only smiled. “Well, if that's what you're worried about then—” Seulgi coughed into and stared at Seungwan with a serious expression. “I'm a bear.”

Seungwan’s eyes widened. “You're a what?”

“I'm a bear,” Seulgi continued. “And my best friend is a bunny.”

Seulgi saw the confusion written all over Seungwan’s face as the latter struggled to find the right words. “Do you mean literally or…”

“When I was in high school, people started comparing me to a bear.” She pointed at her ears. “Some called me that because my ears tended to stick out while others said that I was great to hug like a teddy bear.”

Though it took Seungwan to process the sudden information, she gave a bright smile. “That's really cute actually,” she cooed.

“There,” Seulgi said with a satisfied grin. “I'm sure what I said was really weird. I bet what you have to say has nothing on me.”

Seulgi watched as the arms Seungwan crossed behind her back settled beside her hips. “I found it more random than weird,” she countered.

“What?” Seulgi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then what is it going to take for you to open up to me? Should I tell you how many pencils I tried to balance on my nose?”

Seungwan laughed. “Maybe next time,” she said. “Since you decided to tell me something about you, I guess I should tell you what I need help with now.”

Nodding, Seulgi’s eyes became crescents due to her smile. “It is only fair,” she joked.

The other girl stared at Seulgi for a moment before looking down. “Okay.” She tugged at the hem of her blue sleeve. A chill ran through Seulgi as Seungwan unraveled the cloth and revealed the entirety of her left arm.

 _Oh,_ Seulgi thought. _Oh no._

A music note being pulled by curved lines was marked into Seungwan’s skin. “I was wondering if you happened to see everyone with the same tattoo as me. It appeared on my skin recently, but I still have no idea who I’m matched with.”

It was her. _God,_ it was her.

______________________________________________________________________________

Seulgi said she had never seen that marking before. She apologized.

Seungwan smiled sadly and touched her left wrist, where the mark started. “It’s okay,” she claimed. “I know I’m going to meet them eventually. I just need to patient.”

Seulgi wanted to run, but her legs failed to react. Seungwan thanked her and gave Seulgi her number, so they could hang out sometime. “I don’t want to only see you in class,” she said. “You’re too sweet.”

It wasn’t her. That wasn’t who Seulgi loved. Why couldn’t fate see that?

______________________________________________________________________________

Seungwan was introduced to Seulgi’s group of friends a few days later. She fit right in with the group and she was grateful for having a friend like Seulgi, expressing her sentiment towards her when they were alone in class one day. Seulgi said it wasn’t a big deal and made sure to tell Seungwan that everyone loved having her around. She didn’t meet Seungwan’s eyes, her arms crossed behind her back.

Yerim, despite still being in high school, hung out with them almost all the time and knew how to trick Seungwan. The older girl learned very quickly that high school was a dark era and she was glad to be out of that era. She knew when Yerim addressed her as ‘mom’ that it was her own way of being affectionate, but Seungwan couldn't help but think that she was also taking a jab at her age. The glint in Yerim’s eyes whenever she called her that didn't help either.

The one that left the biggest first impression on Seungwan was Sooyoung, who instead of shaking Seungwan’s hand, grabbed her wrist and yelled, “You have a soulmate already? You're so lucky!” Sooyoung and Yerim gasped when Seungwan admitted that she didn't know who her other half was when they confronted her. Seungwan felt a blush creeping up on her neck, but Seulgi changed the subject before the duo could pry more than they should. Seungwan was also grateful for that.

When Seungwan met Joohyun, she was shocked by how pretty the girl was. She didn't have much of a clue on what she was like because Seulgi compared her to a woodland animal, but she didn't expect dyed purple hair and an air of maturity around her.

Being intimidated by her didn't last long though, because Yeri took it upon herself to upgrade Joohyun to ‘grandma’ since Seungwan took over the role as the mother. Joohyun responded by jabbing Yerim in the forehead.

Seungwan was also surprised when she discovered that unlike Seulgi, Joohyun had a habit of being clingy. She learned this when she watched Joohyun walked up to Seulgi and linked their arms together, interlacing their fingers. Seulgi was taken aback by the sudden action, but didn’t retract her hand.

Even though Seulgi mentioned that she and Joohyun were bestfriends, Seungwan was jealous. Once Seungwan hugged Seulgi from behind and the girl flinched, turning to her with what Seungwan believed was a scared expression. They both stammered apologies towards each other and Seungwan didn’t try that again. Seungwan was convinced that she wasn’t in that level with Seulgi yet. Seungwan just had to wait for Seulgi to see her the same way she saw Joohyun, or at least, somewhere close to what those two had between them.

Seungwan met Seulgi first, but felt the most distance with her out of all her friends. She wondered if it was all on her mind or if Seulgi was avoiding her on purpose. She told herself that she would know eventually.

______________________________________________________________________________

Seulgi learned a lot about Seungwan. She was right about her favorite color being blue.

Seungwan confessed, with reluctance, that her friends in Canada gave her the nickname Wendy because she once dyed her hair red. Seulgi imagined what that would look like, not realizing that she said “I bet you looked pretty” out loud until Seungwan smiled at her.

Seungwan had an older sibling like Seulgi, she passed tryouts for the dance team and turned out to be a great dancer like Seulgi, she had a tendency to help others like Seulgi.

Her singing voice was beautiful, angelic. Why she had a tattoo of a music note to match Seulgi almost made sense. Almost. It didn’t change the fact that Seulgi’s heart was about to burst whenever she saw Joohyun. Her love for Joohyun didn’t change the fact that Seungwan was her soulmate and not Joohyun.

Dancing. Dancing would take her mind off this. It always helped her forget.

Sliding open the door to the school’s dancing studio, Seulgi was greeted by three pairs of eyes turning to her as she entered the room. Sooyoung, Yerim, and Seungwan were huddled around the whiteboard.

“Perfect timing, unnie!” Sooyoung smiled wide. “Come over here and see what Yerim wrote, we need your opinion on something.”

“Um…” Seulgi gave a wary smile, suddenly feeling on edge. “Okay, I guess—”

Seungwan jerked with a gasp, as if realizing something important as Seulgi made her way towards them. She snatched the eraser from Sooyoung and began to get rid of the writing Seulgi couldn’t see from here.

“Hey!” Sooyoung griped. “You’re no fun.”

Throwing a glare at her and Yerim, Seungwan returned the eraser and Seulgi stood next to her as she finally saw the cause of the commotion. Seulgi’s mouth fell open.

In the center of the board, there was a group of lines that connected to Seungwan’s name circled in green marker. Names Seulgi recognized were at the end of the connection, some crossed out while others held question marks. Seulgi saw that a part of the diagram was wiped away in courtesy of Seungwan herself. Above the constructed web were the words “Sooyoung and Yerim’s potential suspects on who is Seungwan’s lovey-dovey other half” in bold letters.

“That is…” Seulgi pondered on what to say. “Those are a lot of hearts.”

“I drew them myself,” Yerim puffed her chest in pride.

“Now that you're here,” Sooyoung piped up. “Who do you think shares the same tattoo as Seungwan-unnie?”

The truth splashed on Seulgi like a splash of cold water. “I—” she crossed her arms, hoping they wouldn't somehow see through her sleeves. “Have you thought about Jackson?”

Sooyoung and Yerim cackled, clutching their stomachs. “All that guy does is show off his biceps, unnie.” To demonstrate, Yerim did her best impression of Jackson by flexing her arms dramatically before kissing them while Sooyoung encouraged her by laughing harder.

“Come on, guys,” Seungwan rolled her eyes. “We both know he doesn’t really do that.” Her eyes were gentler when she turned to Seulgi. “They do have a point though, I don’t think he’s destined to be my significant other.”

“Oh.” Seulgi directed her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know who else it could be.”

Sooyoung hummed, before lifting her head up and gazing past Seulgi. “What do you think, unnie?”

“I could help.” Seulgi’s breath hitched as she turned around. She didn't notice Joohyun enter the building. “But I need to see your tattoo.”

“You haven't seen it, unnie?” Yerim asked.

Joohyun shook her head. “She always happens to wear something that’s covering her wrists whenever I see her.”

“I’ve noticed that too actually,” Sooyoung said. “You should be wearing shirts with little or no sleeves! How else are you going to find your soulmate?”

“Long sleeves are more comfortable though.” She turned to Seulgi. “You think so too, right? You wear them as much as me, maybe even more.”

A chill ran down Seulgi’s spine. She needed to calm down. She needed to act normal or else the others would notice. “Y-yeah,” she shrugged. “It's been really cold lately.”

They all looked at her, but nobody seemed suspicious. Seulgi internally sighed.

“Anyway,” Joohyun beckoned Seungwan over. “Let me see your mark.”

Seungwan nodded. “Sure thing.” Unrolling her sleeve, the girl allowed Joohyun to grab her wrist as she stared at the tattoo.

Seulgi gulped, wanting to scrub off her own imprint. Even if Joohyun didn't remember—it was so long ago and it would make sense if she didn't see it as a big deal—Seulgi couldn't erase the memory. The pattern Seulgi drew on Joohyun with ink came true. It was permanent. It just didn't linger in Joohyun’s body, it was etched onto somebody else’s.

“Joohyun-unnie,” Seungwan spoke up. “You're. Kind of gripping me tight. It hurts actually.”

“What?” Joohyun immediately let go of Seungwan. “Sorry about that, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“Sheesh, unnie,” Yerim said. “You need to learn how to control your strength.”

Joohyun’s face warmed. “I'm sorry,” she repeated.

“So have you seen a tattoo like this before or not?” Sooyoung asked. “I'm dying in anticipation here.”

Blinking, Joohyun crossed her arms over her chest. “No. This is the first time I've seen it.”

Seulgi frowned. This was a good thing. Joohyun didn't remember that day in Seulgi’s room and therefore couldn't recognize the marking. Her heart ached anyway.

She wondered how much longer she could keep this up, how much longer she could pretend that she didn't have a soulmate.

“Well, if you can’t think of anyone,” Yerim stepped aside to expose the whiteboard. “Help us pick potential nominees on who might have Seungwan’s mark! We need all the brainpower we can get.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow. “This is creepy you two,” she said.

“No, it isn’t!” Sooyoung defended. “This is just a way to organize our thoughts. Our chart just happens to look like a room of a crazy person.”

“You guys are ridicu—” Joohyun froze as she squinted at the board. “Did you write down Eric?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Okay,” Joohyun snatched the marker from Yerim and drew a slash across his name. “First of all, there’s no way he’s the one destined to be with Seungwan so jot that down.”

The girls laughed as Joohyun went off on how none of the people on the board could possibly have the same mark as Seungwan. Seulgi saw that as her chance to leave and gather her thoughts.

Seulgi took a seat on the cobblestone steps,bringing her knees to her chest as she rested her chin atop of them. The sunset lit the sky with a comforting light. Even though the sight usually filled her with ease, her heart felt uneasy. Joohyun always affected her like this. She was exhausted. How much longer could Seulgi keep this up?

“Is this seat taken?”

She turned to see that Seungwan was looking down at her. A few seconds passed before Seulgi realized she had to answer. “N-no,” she said. “Go ahead.”

Seungwan’s smile was tender as she took a seat next to her, being as close as possible without touching. Seulgi had a hunch it was because Seungwan didn’t want to make her comfortable. She was so nice and Seulgi’s heart twinged. The latter assumed it was because of guilt.

“I swear,” Seungwan chuckled. “Sooyoung and Yerim treat my mark as if it’s a cold case they desperately need to crack.”

“Well, they see you as the only one in our friend group with a tattoo,” Seulgi said. “It’s understandable.”

Seungwan shrugged. “That’s true,” she responded.

A question formed in the back of Seulgi’s mind. “You—” Seungwan turned to face her. Seulgi fought the urge to look away. “You don’t seem in that much of a rush to find them. Your soulmate that is.”

“Oh, you noticed?” Seungwan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and Seulgi snuck enough glances to know that was her habit when nervous. Seulgi really needed to stop.

Seulgi nodded. “How come?” Though it should’ve been a good thing for her that Seungwan wasn’t in search of her other half, Seulgi was curious as to why.

“It’s,” Seungwan hesitated. “It’s a corny reason. It’s embarrassing.”

“I’m not going to judge you,” Seulgi promised. “You didn’t tease me when you found out my parents still call me Princess.”

“Because it was cute!” Seungwan argued.

All it took was for Seulgi to stare at her for Seungwan to falter, the latter sighing. “Fine,” she murmured. “I’ll tell you.”

Turning her head so her cheek was pressed against her knee, Seulgi arched an eyebrow. “Well…?”

“Well,” Seungwan started. “I think there’s a reason for everything. Since fate decided to pair me up with someone for a reason, there must be an explanation as to why I haven’t met them yet.”

Seulgi straightened, her legs stretching as she laid her hands on top of her knees. “What do you think the reason is?”

Seungwan pressed her lips together. “Maybe they’re not ready?” she suggested. Seulgi flinched. “But it’s most likely that I’m the one that’s not ready.”

That last part wasn’t what Seulgi expected. “How would you not be ready?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Seungwan said. However as Seulgi looked over her eyes and smile that didn’t seem as bright, she had a feeling that Seungwan did know why. “But I’m willing to wait.”

“I see.”

Silence fell between them after that, Seulgi fiddling with her fingers while Seungwan gazed ahead. Seungwan was so assured by faith. It reminded Seulgi of the day her father told her the lore behind the tattoos and how Seulgi was so sure that faith was in her favor. Didn’t Seungwan doubt any of this?

“What if you don’t like them?” Seulgi blurted out.

Seungwan stared at the sunset for a couple of seconds before turning to Seulgi. She had a face that was asking for her to elaborate.

She gulped. “Like,” she said as she tightened her hold on her right sleeve. “What if you have nothing in common? What if you just don’t mesh together? What if they aren’t what you expected? W-what if—” She needed to stop. She knew if she continued that she would make herself cry. _What if they’re in love with someone else?_

Words failed to come out, Seulgi’s mind in a turmoil. Seungwan frowned, looking worried and _why is she looking at me like that, she can’t—_ “Those are some things to consider,” she said. “And it’s certain that they won’t be what I expected.” Seungwan peered down at her own arm and ran her fingers over her mark. Her touch was gentle, her eyes were gentle, everything about her was gentle. “But I know I’ll fall in love with them. Maybe not now, but eventually. And hopefully, they'll love me the same way I'll love them.”

The desire to turn away vanished when Seungwan lifted her head to look at Seulgi. Seungwan’s visage was shadowed only slightly as the subtle rays of the sun shined behind her. While Joohyun made Seulgi freeze up and malfunction whenever she smiled at her, Seungwan’s made all of Seulgi’s doubts melt away as if they were never there.

Seulgi’s hammering heart calmed. She couldn’t figure out if her reaction originated from her own feelings or if it was the work of her tattoo and the inevitability that came with it. She couldn’t tell whether or not if there was a difference.

______________________________________________________________________________

Summer came and Seungwan finally followed Sooyoung’s advice, her clothing consisting of shirts that left her arms exposed. Seungwan became fairly popular as word spread around about how she still didn’t know who was bound to be her soulmate.

Seulgi saw the mark everyday. She knew that she could’ve attempted to distance herself, pretend she was always busy, but decided against it. Seungwan didn’t deserve to question what she did wrong when the answer was nothing. She didn’t deserve to be left in the dark. Seulgi continued to wear long sleeves no matter how hot it was on certain days.

Seungwan’s mark was a constant reminder. It reminded Seulgi that in the end what she was doing was foolish, that there were no benefits from doing this. But the rapid beating of her chest stayed when Joohyun smiled at her and so did her stubborn need to hide the heart that was on her sleeve.

______________________________________________________________________________

It all came crashing down on her at her apartment. Finals were over and Seulgi thought it was appropriate to celebrate by binging all her favorite dramas. Joohyun didn’t voice a complaint when Seulgi set up the snack table with popcorn and a questionable amount of Pringles. She was out of it. Seulgi thought that it must’ve been the aftermath of tests. Joohyun did take the hardest classes.

Joohyun didn’t say anything when Seulgi turned off all the lights so they could focus on the television set even though she complained in the past that it was bad for the eyes. Joohyun didn’t say anything when the series playing took a turn for the worst and shoved in three irrelevant subplots. Joohyun didn’t say anything. She refused to say anything.

The plot went over Seulgi’s head. She wondered if something went wrong at school and Joohyun didn’t want to talk about it. However, she sighed in relief when Joohyun leaned against her and linked their arms like always. Joohyun was just tired.

“Seul,” Joohyun finally said. “I need to ask you something.”

Watching Joohyun close her eyes and massage her forehead with one hand, Seulgi muted the program. “What is it?”

Joohyun was still for a moment and Seulgi was about to call out her name until Joohyun let her hand fall in her lap, turning to Seulgi. “We still don’t know who’s meant to be Seungwan’s other half. Why is that?”

Seulgi was speechless. She was too afraid to look away.

“Why, Seulgi?” Joohyun pleaded. “I can’t help but think you know why.”

“I—” Seulgi didn’t notice Joohyun tighten her hold on her arm. “I don’t kn—” She was too caught up in Joohyun’s gaze, not realizing that Joohyun gripped onto the sleeve of her shirt and lifted it up until it was too late.

Joohyun angled Seulgi’s arm towards the light to have a better look. Seulgi wanted to pull away, but the other girl’s grip was too strong. Her arm was revealed, her heart was revealed, her secret was revealed. “It’s you. You’re Seungwan’s soulmate.”

“Unnie,” Seulgi said. “Wait, I—”

Joohyun stared at Seulgi. Her face spoke volumes. “I need time to myself,” she said as she let go of Seulgi and stood up.

Even though Seulgi knew that she wouldn’t listen, she followed her. “Joohyun-unnie. I can explain, let me—” She grabbed Joohyun’s wrist and she responded by forcefully jerking her arm free. She turned with her arms at her sides and Seulgi was speechless.

“Why?” Her words dripped in venom and Seulgi shut her eyes. “Why didn’t—” Seulgi waited to hear the next words. _Why didn’t you say anything? What made you think you could hide this?_ Seulgi didn’t think she could hide it, but she wanted to believe.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seulgi popped her eyes open and saw that Joohyun’s arms were trembling. She sounded so quiet.

“I—”

“Is this why you refused to wear anything that exposed your arms?”

Seulgi didn’t need to answer. “Yes,” she whispered.

“This,” Joohyun waved her hand towards Seulgi’s tattoo, but refused to look at it. She was already turning her back on Seulgi. “This isn’t something you can simply hide.”

“I know that,” Seulgi said. “I'm sorry.”

“If you knew, then why did you bother to try?” Seulgi couldn't see her face, but she knew she was frowning. “I can't even begin to comprehend why you would do something so unnecessary.”

Seulgi wanted to erase the mark, to turn back, to do anything that would make Joohyun look at her. “I didn't want the mark,” she confessed. “I didn't want to deal with it, so I decided to hide it.”

“That makes no sense.” Joohyun turned around to regard Seulgi. “What reason could you have to not want to have a tattoo? To not have a soulmate?” _So cold._

Tears threatened to spill down Seulgi’s face. She shouldn't tell Joohyun because it would just makes things worst, but now that the truth is revealed she can't help but spill everything, take everything off her chest and— “I don't want a mark because you don't have one. I don't want a soulmate if it's not you.”

Joohyun stared at her with wide eyes. “Do you know what you're implying?”

“O-of course I do! I love you!” The dazed look on Joohyun’s face changed, frowning, when she heard the declaration.

“No,” Joohyun whispered.

It was Seulgi’s turn to be shocked. “What do you mean no? It's true!”

Sighing, Joohyun covered her face with one hand. “No, you don't, Seulgi.”

“Yes, I do, unnie!” Seulgi said, frantically. “I know I lied about not knowing who Seungwan’s soulmate was, but I wouldn't lie about this! I'm in love with you.” She didn't hear the frantic and repeated whispers of “Seulgi stop” that came from Joohyun. “In the beginning I looked up to you, but I began to notice all the little things about you like how you refuse to bring a purse, how you're overly competitive. And I realized that I found it endearing and that I loved you. I loved you for all these yea—”

“STOP!” Joohyun’s hand fell and revealed a tear-streaked face. Seulgi stiffened. She looked so angry.

“You can't!” Joohyun stepped forward and gripped onto Seulgi’s arm, right over her tattoo. She winced at how rough it was. “You can't just tell me you love me. Not when—” Her thumb dragged down and over the mark as if it could be erased. It hurt. “Not when… not when—”

Joohyun let out a sob. “Not when I know it's never going to happen.”

Seulgi’s vision blurred and she lifted her free hand to touch her face. She was crying too.

“You don't love me,” Joohyun’s fingers pressed hard against Seulgi’s skin as she ran over the mark. “You're not _going to_ love me. This is proof.” She dropped Seulgi’s arm. “I'm leaving.”

Before Seulgi could stop her, Joohyun ran out and slammed the door behind her.

She had to run after her, but her feet remained grounded. Seulgi fell to her knees, clutching onto the back of her couch for support.

______________________________________________________________________________

The shower was scalding, the steam clouding the mirrors and Seulgi’s vision. She scrubbed against her right wrist as the water cascaded down her hair and arms. It was sore and red began to appear in her wrist from the force and heat. The ink wouldn’t leave.

She could only hide it for so long. She was able to conceal the truth in the form of sweaters and shirts, but she snuck a peek. When she was alone, when she was left to her thoughts, when she was exposed—all she saw was the music note that told her that it was inevitable.

A tremor ran down her body like droplets and she doubled forward, trying her best to muffle her sobs. She was so unsure now. Not because she knew that the mark couldn’t be erased, but rather because deep inside her, she was glad and relieved that it couldn’t be rid of her. When she didn’t think of Joohyun, there was comfort.

It was the mark. This couldn’t be her honest feelings. She was used to the tattoo and was beginning to change. This couldn’t be because—she reminded herself that she loved Joohyun. It had to be the mark’s doing. It had to be.

______________________________________________________________________________

Something was wrong. Even though Seulgi wasn’t one to express her feelings, she was terrible at hiding her troubles. Lately, she hasn’t initiated a conversation in favor of staring off into space. When Sooyoung and Yerim tried to to get her to speak, her responses were curt. Seungwan hated seeing her like this.

With the intent of finding out what was bothering Seulgi, Seungwan waited for their class to end. She snuck a glance at Seulgi, who refused to direct her eyes anywhere else but the chalkboard. Instead of the doodles that Seungwan usually drew with her during class, Seulgi’s notes solely consisted of the actual course material. Whatever was troubling her, Seulgi used the class as an excuse to take her mind off it.

“Ms. Son.” Mrs. Kim tapped on the lecture podium with her ruler and Seungwan discovered with flushed cheeks that she was staring at Seulgi this entire time. “Are you listening?”

“I’m sorry,” Seungwan said. “Can you repeat the question?”

Mrs. Kim lifted the ruler and smacked the board behind her without breaking eye contact. Seungwan was never called by the professor before and wondered how long she was staring at Seulgi for Mrs. Kim to change that. “I asked if you knew the answer to this equation here.”

Seungwan squinted at the problem, trying to figure out the solution and _who am I kidding, I don’t even know what that says. Why is there more than one triangle in there?_

Seulgi wordlessly reached to write a number on Seungwan’s blank notebook. Seungwan raised her eyebrows at Seulgi, who gave a thumbs-up under her table, before answering. “Forty?”

Mrs. Kim’s mouth was a thin line. “While I find Seulgi trying to help you out touching-” Seulgi flinched. “That is not the answer. It’s four hundred.”

Laughter resounded throughout the lecture hall as Seungwan felt herself turn a darker red. She had nothing on Seulgi though, her embarrassment reminding Seungwan of a beet as she planted her face on the desk. That’s right. Seulgi frequently needed help in this class.

“Now, if you turn your textbooks to the assigned lesson on the board, you will see how to properly execute these types of equations.” When Mrs. Kim began writing on the panel and the class continued the lesson, Seungwan let out a sigh.

“Sorry.” Seungwan spared a glance towards Seulgi. Her head still didn’t leave the desk, most likely because she was too mortified to show her face to the teacher. “I made both of us look bad.”

Seungwan smiled. “You don’t need to apologize,” she assured her. “I was going to get it wrong anyway, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, but…”

Seungwan wondered if what she was about to do was okay. Reaching forward, Seungwan patted Seulgi’s shoulder. The latter didn’t shy away. “You made it more bearable.”

The girl brightened at that and Seungwan was glad to see her usual self after so long. Soon, class ended and their classmates filed out of the room to move on with their day.

“Seulgi,” Seungwan called as she watched the other gather her things. “Are you free right now?”

Seulgi looked down in deep thought, biting her lip, and Seungwan began to think of ways to find out how to get out of Seulgi just in case she denied her request. “I don’t have anymore classes today.”

“Then, if it’s alright with you, can I talk to you somewhere private?”

Seungwan watched an emotion she couldn’t decipher flash in Seulgi’s eyes. Before she could ask what was wrong, Seulgi nodded. “Okay.”

______________________________________________________________________________

This was the first time Seulgi ventured inside the music department. She felt unwelcome, as if a bunch of students were about to burst out the doors and snap their fingers at her menacingly like in the musicals. When she uttered this anxiety to Seungwan, the latter laughed and said she wished the people here were cool enough to try that. Seulgi thought her laugh was nice to listen to.

Seungwan slid open the third door left of the hall and Seulgi stepped inside cautiously, surveying her surroundings. The room was gleaming as the sun shined through the cracked open windows, the curtains fluttering along with the wind. In the middle of the room stood tall a grand piano that Seulgi was afraid of even touching because of how pricey it looked.

Taking a seat in front of the instrument, Seungwan patted the empty spot on the bench. “Come sit.” Seulgi obliged, all too aware that their legs were touching.

Seulgi listened as Seungwan played a melody at the top of her head, checking the state of her own clothing. Seungwan’s mark was visible while hers was safe inside her sleeve. “Can I ask why you took me here?” She doubted that it was solely because Seungwan wanted to play her a song.

The music ceased and Seungwan turned to her, fingers still on the keys. “Whenever I’m feeling down because I miss home or had a bad day, I come here to let out my feelings.” She smiled at her and Seulgi found it hard to hold her gaze steady.

“Oh,” was all Seulgi managed to say, staring down at the keys as her hands rested on top of her lap.

“I noticed that you were really down lately,” Seungwan continued. “And so I thought, ‘why not share this place with you, so you could do the same thing?’”

 _Was I that obvious?_ Her hands balled into fists. “It’s not that big of a deal,” Seulgi lied. “I don’t want to bother anyone.”

Seungwan frowned. “You wouldn't be bothering anyone,” she insisted. “We’re just worried about you.”

Seulgi shifted her gaze to Seungwan. She saw hesitation in Seungwan’s expression, gazing at the lack of space between them, before reaching forward to place her hand on top of Seulgi’s right fist. She was so close to finding out. All she had to do was move her hand down and drag Seulgi's sleeve down to find the tattoo they were bound by and it would all be over. Despite the risk, fear didn't strike Seulgi’s senses. She thought that Seungwan wouldn't go out of her way to find out if she was her soulmate.

And she didn't. Instead, Seungwan turned over Seulgi’s hand and opened her palm. She interlaced their fingers and squeezed. She was more focused on comforting Seulgi than her own troubles.

“If you want,” Seungwan said. “What you say doesn't have to leave this room. It can be our little secret.”

This time Seulgi didn't have a reason to hide. “I had a fight with Joohyun-unnie,” she admitted. “We aren't talking to each other.”

“You two are fighting?” Seungwan’s eyebrows knitted together. “But Joohyun-unnie was acting normally whenever I saw her.”

“I know, but…” Seulgi blinked a few times before continuing. “Our apartment is so quiet now. When she can, she stays out as much as possible.”

Seungwan’s hold on Seulgi tightened, but not enough to hurt her. “What was the fight about?” She was met with silence as Seulgi slowly turned her head away, not wanting to show tears.

“Hey, it's okay.” Seungwan rubbed circles on the back of Seulgi’s hand. “You don't have to tell me.”

Guilt wasn't enough to describe the feelings that churned inside Seulgi.

“I may not know what exactly happened between you two,” Seungwan said. “But I know the problem is that you're avoiding each other. You need to find an opportunity to be alone with her and talk to her.”

“How do I do that when it's difficult for her to come home?” Seulgi asked.

“I’ll come up with a plan where you're alone with her,” Seungwan promised. “I might need the assistance of Yerim and Sooyoung, if that's fine with you.”

Seulgi sniffled and faced Seungwan. “You're so nice, I can't help but feel like I'm taking advantage of you.”

Seungwan scoffed, waving her hand. “No, you're not, I'm only giving back for what you've done for me.”

“I haven't done much,” Seulgi lamented.

Seungwan’s smile didn't falter as she shook her head. “You made me feel welcome when I came here,” she pointed out. A light blush dusted her cheeks when she confessed, “you were my first friend and you introduced me to everyone else too. I have a lot of reasons to be grateful for meeting you.”

Not knowing what to say, Seulgi peered down at their adjoined hands. She wondered what she did to deserve Seungwan.

______________________________________________________________________________

Paint coated the side of her cheek as Seulgi guided her brush delicately on the poster. She concentrated on coloring in the outlined letters as an excuse to stay quiet. If Sooyoung and Yerim saw her at the moment, without a doubt they would have yelled at her.

When their advisor notified the dance team of the upcoming festival, Seulgi figured that her mind would be filled with slogans to advertise their extracurricular. She didn't assume Sooyoung of holding duplicitous intentions when she left to pick up Yerim so the younger girl could help them. She wasn't suspicious even though Yerim was close enough to walk to their university like always.

It took a squeeze on the shoulder from Seungwan and a wink as she quietly left the room for Seulgi to realize that her friends’ disappearance was intentional. Then, she remembered Seungwan’s promise and Seulgi’s stomach dropped. She wondered why Seungwan decided this without telling her, but knew that she would have panicked and tried to back out if Seungwan told her. It didn't make her feel any better.

Seulgi lifted her brush and snuck a glance at the only other person in the room. If Joohyun questioned whether or not the group bailed out on them, she made no move to show it as she worked on finishing the poster. She didn't make an effort to acknowledge Seulgi either.

The room was suffocating. Seulgi wiped her face with her sleeve to get rid of the sweat, but looked down to see that she stained her clothing with a purple hue. Other blotches of paint covered her sleeve as well from earlier mistakes Seulgi made.

“Roll up your sleeves.” Seulgi was startled as she swiveled her head to see that Joohyun was now next to her instead of the other side of the room.

“H-huh?” The girl was stiff as Joohyun didn't look at her in favor of staring at her sleeves.

“You need to roll up your sleeves,” Joohyun repeated as she tugged at the piece of clothing. “They'll get dirtier otherwise.”

Fear trickled down Seulgi’s spine as her heart hammered against her chest. Her hand instinctively held her sleeve in place, preventing Joohyun from lifting the fabric.

Joohyun frowned. “Seungwan isn't here,” she said. “I already know. You're hiding it for no reason.” She lifted her eyes to look at Seulgi. They were distant, as if she wanted to be somewhere else. “There's no point in hiding it.”

Seulgi stared at her for a moment before rolling up her sleeves. The mark was now out in the open, Seulgi’s right arm decorated in blue curves and edges. It looked bigger than before. Her stomach dipped more because Joohyun was looking at the mark rather than because she was reminded of what she couldn't have.

Joohyun loosened her hold on Seulgi without a word and went back to painting for their club. Seulgi watched her turn her back on her before sighing. She wanted Sooyoung and Yerim to come back, so the room wouldn't be dead silent. She wanted Seungwan to come back, so the tears threatening to fall would leave.

But they didn't return. Seulgi and Joohyun finished the last poster and had no reason for the lack of communication besides the fact that they both refused to speak. Seulgi observed Joohyun mutter “where in the world are they” while she checked her phone, but looked down when Joohyun felt her stare and turned her head towards her. Not knowing what else to do, Seulgi stared at her tattoo.

She ran her fingers over the mark, tracing over the design. This was the first time she looked at the tattoo so closely since she first discovered it. Though it gave her mixed feelings, Seulgi couldn't deny that it was beautiful. It was exactly what she pictured when she imagined Joohyun’s mark.

A crash resounded in the room and Seulgi jumped in her seat, immediately reaching to cover her arm with her sleeve. She turned and saw that Joohyun was out of her seat that now laid on the floor, her eyes clenched shut. It was as if she witnessed a sight she didn't want to see and was trying to erase it from her mind.

“Joohyun-unnie?” Seulgi stood up from her seat. “Are you alright?” The said girl held up a hand and prevented Seulgi from moving.

“I'm—” Joohyun gestured with her thumb to the door behind her. “I'm going to look for the others.”

“Wait! I need—”

However, Joohyun was already on her way out of the room and shut the door behind her. Seulgi was alone again.

Seulgi knew that Joohyun wanted space and time to think, but she couldn't leave her. Not after seeing Joohyun make that face. Not after Seungwan tried to help her solve their dilemma.

Before she could change her mind, Seulgi went after Joohyun as she went out the door. Seulgi looked to her left and right, not spotting Joohyun walk down any of the paths. Seulgi chose the one on the left, but quickly went around to take the other path when she saw the first one led to a dead end. Despite the fact that the halls were occupied by a few people, Seulgi only paid attention to how her sneakers squeaked against the floor as she searched for Joohyun.

At the end of the hall, Seulgi didn’t catch the one she was looking for but a girl that was on her mind nonetheless. “Seungwan!” The girl in question was looking away and she wore a worried expression, a hand against her chest, when she turned around to face Seulgi. “Did Joohyun-unnie happen to pass by here?”

“She did actually,” Seungwan answered. “She didn’t reply when I called out to her. Did something happen?”

“I don’t know,” Seulgi said. “We were just finishing the advertisements for the club and all of a sudden she said she wanted to look for you guys.” She wasted no time as she started making her way out of the building while Seungwan followed behind. “I’m going to look for her.”

Seungwan grabbed Seulgi’s hand when they met the outside air. Seulgi was about to voice out a complaint and say that she was going after Joohyun no matter what when Seungwan shook her head. “It’ll be best to split up so we have a better chance of finding her.”

Seulgi nodded. “Thank you,” she said as Seungwan let go of her.

“You’re welcome!” Seungwan yelled as Seulgi dashed down the courtyard.

When Seulgi found Joohyun, the latter was alone as she sat on top of the staircase outside the home of the law students. As Seulgi stepped closer to her, she realized that Joohyun’s back was shaking as she held onto her phone. Seulgi frowned and wondered if something had happened with her family and that was the reason for her sudden departure, but paused when she saw what was on the screen. “Joohyun-unnie,” she breathed.

Joohyun shot up, holding onto the railing as she wiped her eyes and stuffed her phone in her back pocket. “Seulgi, what are you…” The rest of her sentence came out as white noise for Seulgi, shocked at what she saw. Seulgi couldn’t forget the tears pricking Joohyun’s eyes no matter how much she wiped at them. Seulgi couldn’t forget the picture on Joohyun’s phone no matter how much the latter denied it.

It was the mark Seulgi sketched on the other girl’s skin all those years ago. Joohyun kept the picture. Joohyun remembered.

“Unnie, you’re crying,” Seulgi reached out, but Joohyun took a step back.

“I’m fine,” Joohyun said, her eyes downcast and not meeting Seulgi’s. “That was nothing, Seulgi. Forget about it.”

Seulgi took a step down after her. “We need to talk about this, unnie. Why do you still have that picture? Does that… does that mean you love me too?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Seulgi.” Joohyun’s grip on the railing tightened. “Just leave me alone.” She her heel and started to descend the steps.

How could Seulgi leave her alone when her voice was thick from tears and sounded like she was trying to hold herself together? Seulgi quickly jogged down the steps, the distance between them refusing to close. “Hold on a—” Her foot slipped from a step and she fell forward, missing the railing that could have supported her. She closed her eyes and tumbled down as the concrete made contact with her knees, shoulders, and head. When she reached the bottom, the pain was so strong that it silenced her.

“Seulgi!” The girl heard footsteps near her and felt arms wrap around her, but she couldn’t find the strength in her to open her eyes. “Seulgi, are you alright?!”

As Seulgi’s consciousness blurred, she heard another voice from behind her. “Oh my god, Seulgi!” Recognizing the source of the voice, Seulgi slowly cracked open her eyes. Joohyun was looking down in worry with tears spilling down her face and soon Seungwan knelt down beside her. “She’s bleeding so much.”

Joohyun whipped her head around wildly in hopes of finding a passerby. “Help!” she called out. “This girl needs a hospital!”

“Seulgi,” Seungwan whispered frantically and caressed her cheek. “Seulgi I need you to stay awake, okay? You can’t close your eyes, alright? Just look at me, it’s okay. I’m here.” This was the first time Seungwan looked so unsteady, Seulgi thought, as the fingers against her face were wet and trembling. “ _God,_ please stay with me.”

Seungwan’s eyes shook like an earthquake, dark and scared. Seulgi wanted to reach up and tuck the stray hair behind her ear. However, Seulgi’s eyes felt so heavy and it wasn’t long before she closed her eyes and everything turned black.

______________________________________________________________________________

The sun’s orange rays were soft as they seeped into the room. Seulgi roused awake as her eyes fluttered open. She was still out of it as her eyes took in the white ceiling, wondering why her room was a different color. The bedsheets felt cold and light in her grasp. _A hospital,_ she concluded. She was inside a hospital.

Nothing in the room felt welcoming, nothing in the room felt familiar, nothing in the room felt gentle. Nothing except the one person that sat next to her. Seungwan stared at the window, a deep frown replacing the smile Seulgi was used to being sent her way.

“Seungwan?” Seulgi asked hesitantly.

“You’re awake,” Seungwan placed a hand on Seulgi’s lap and her lips lifted into a smile. “I was so worried.”

Seulgi offered a small smile back and sat up in bed. “Uhuh.”

“Do you remember what happened to you?” Seungwan asked.

Frowning, Seulgi reached up to touch her forehead and found a patch attached to her. “I remember falling down,” Seulgi said. “I think I blacked out after that.”

Seungwan nodded. “When I found Joohyun holding your still body, I—” She clutched onto the bedsheets and Seulgi rested her left hand on top of her fist for comfort. “One of us managed to calm down and call an ambulance, so that’s why you’re here.”

“Where’s Joohyun-unnie?” Seulgi looked around the room, but saw that they were the only ones inside.

“She left to make a few calls,” Seungwan darted her gaze to the door behind her before focusing her attention on Seulgi. “She had to tell Sooyoung and Yerim what happened, so they won’t wonder why the dance room is empty. She also said your parents had a right to know what happened.”

Seulgi leaned back on her fluffed pillows. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“You keep apologizing for things you don’t have to be sorry for,” Seungwan commented jokingly. However as she shifted her head down, her smile faltered. “Even though the doctors said you were going to be okay, that nothing dire was going to happen to you, I was still worried sick. I couldn’t stop thinking about how—” She closed her eyes and Seulgi realized that she was on the verge of tears.

Seulgi didn’t know what to say that would make Seungwan feel better. That was more of the latter’s specialty. Seulgi didn’t want to get used to the change of positions, to get used to comforting Seungwan, to get used to a Seungwan that was miserable. She decided to do what she failed to do before she was sent to the hospital. With her free hand, Seulgi reached up to tuck a hair behind Seungwan’s ear.

Seungwan smiled. “Thank you,” she said as she touched Seulgi’s hand. “I know I shouldn’t be acting like this.” She opened her eyes and Seulgi observed how trusting the other’s gaze was. She watched Seungwan’s eyes trail from Seulgi’s face to the hand that was interlaced with her own to the hand that was pressed against her cheek.

Seungwan’s eyes widened and Seulgi realized too late that her sleeve was bunched up, leaving her tattoo was in full display. A spark ran down her spine as Seulgi watched Seungwan take in the sight, but she didn’t pull away. Even though she spent all this time hiding her mark, Seulgi didn’t have the urge to cover the mark once it was revealed. _This was it,_ Seulgi realized. If there was a reason why Seulgi would want to hide, to have despair and regret, she couldn’t remember.

She couldn’t look away from Seungwan eyes. She didn’t want to.

“Seulgi,” Seungwan breathed. She removed Seulgi’s hand from her face and traced the tattoo on her wrist that couldn’t be seen as anything but real and permanent. Unlike Joohyun— unlike Seulgi herself, Seungwan’s touch on the mark was delicate. It was as if she was afraid that the ink would smear and disappear if she pressed too hard. “Is this what I think it is?”

Seulgi didn’t answer, knowing that Seungwan already knew what her reply would be.

Seungwan laughed and she sounded a little out of breath. Seulgi pictured what she would say. _This is why you were wearing only long sleeves? Why did you hide this from me?_

“I can’t believe it’s you,” Seungwan said instead. She lifted her head up to face her and the breath was taken out of Seulgi’s lungs. “I hoped it was you.”

Her eyes glistened against the yellow and orange lights of the sun. Seulgi didn’t know how to describe the feeling that coursed inside her.

“Seulgi,” she said. She leaned forward and Seulgi didn’t push her away when their lips touched. She was kissing Seungwan. Though the contact was new, the softness in Seungwan’s action was anything but that. Seulgi was reminded of their talk outside the dancing room and their proximity in the piano room. She wondered when Seungwan began to hope that they were soulmates. She wondered if that’s why Seungwan wasn’t eager to search for her other half, scared at the chance that it wasn’t Seulgi.

Seulgi felt her arms lift up and wrap around Seungwan’s waist. Seungwan gasped, but returned the caress by cupping Seulgi’s face.

As the kiss went on, Seulgi wondered what made her want to hide all this time and forgo the chance of _this_ ever happening. She couldn’t think, shivering when Seungwan d the skin on her neck. Her ears rung, her eyes were closed, her heart was captured when the door to her room opened.

______________________________________________________________________________

Joohyun didn’t make a sound when she opened the door. Her hold on her phone tightened as she watched Seungwan kiss Seulgi. They looked so happy together. They looked like they were meant to be together.

She was right, she thought to herself. Seulgi wasn’t going to love her. Despite knowing this, she couldn’t help but feel regret for being proven right. There was still something inside of her that wished she stayed with Seulgi and talked to her. There was still something inside of her that made her believe that she and Seulgi could have denied the inevitable.  
  


**Author's Note:**

>  I made the tattoos specifically only on people's wrists because it's supposed to be a play on the term "wearing their heart on their sleeve." This took longer than I thought, my bad. Leave a comment to tell me what you thought of this story!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at https://sammeup.tumblr.com  
> I'll be posting sneak peeks of my future fics on there. I will also be posting my own personal stories and character profiles there.


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